Can I call a day off? —

I thought my progress as a person is constant. I thought I was growing. But, I was wrong.

I scream inside my head as I was smiling in the mirror, seeing the reflection which is still me.. but , absolutely a different person. I was wearing the “dream uniform that I’ve always pictured on my college-butt-dragging-days”, it’s the uniform of my profession. That vivid image of my dream which I’ve been playing on my mind every time I wanted to give up”.. That, strong phrases like “someday, I would be a TEACHER” , would cheer every part of me. But while in the mirror, I asked myself, why did I choose this profession? What’s wrong with me? Why Am I lacking motivations? Why the heart that was once burning with so much passion is fading away? What should I do ?

 

Early this school year, I was truly excited for the coming experiences. In fact, I made a promise to myself to be punctual in school work and attendance. I bought materials for my lessons and had a great plan for my classroom structuring, Β my teaching strategies and so on. I started on the right track. I was so in it. I was on fire teaching! God , I love all my students. They were a family to me. My children, my second home. I was so into it. Oh God, I cannot even think of anything else.. But, there is one day perhaps when I got exhausted from work, took a 30min nap but woke up at 5am. I have a lot to do like checking papers, recording and many more! But I wasn’t able to comply. Then, it repeated on the next day and the day after until it became a hoabit. I cannot use my spare time because I was busy with other unimportant things. I cant keep up. I am failing. I tried to be on the right track again, so I ran fast as I could. Meeting one deadline at a time. I was close enough , like an inch of it!! When I got my students’ results. I was doomed. Most of them got failing grades. I cannot blame anyone but myself. I was sure I am a good teacher. I always do my best in terms of teaching. I was just being lazy on checking papers and less heart for work. (that was an excuse I made to feel less horrible) but indeed, I felt beyond horrible. Β I felt like dying.

So, what I did is to list all of the things I needed to finish. I made a deadline. Clearly put a deadline, currently on the half of it. But I lack motivation.

I wonder why.  😦  I must find answer to this. What has been so wrong with me lately?

So, I’d like to write this all down as a reminder this is just one of the many waiting failures I will have in the coming days of my profession, however, I will keep on fighting until the last of my breath.

I will not give up with this attitude. I will overcome and will be on the right track again. That I promise.

 

 

 

Teacher Kat

 

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Screaming Silently, I CAN DO THIS!

Screaming Silently, I CAN DO THIS!

Gosh! It has been years, or shall I say decades of being such a brat procrastinating princess!! I haven’t changed a bit. This is the big side of me that cant be proud of!

Tonight, which is one of those “I-wanna-die” moments , is giving me a hard time figuring out what to do first. And , instead of doing something, I just thiiiiiiiiiiiink a lot about UNIMPORTANT Fvcking THINGS!!!!!!!!!!!! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhh~ I scream a lot and it makes me hate myself. Which, this is the same scene I always does every time deadline is approaching, like a zombie of those “Train To Busan” movie!!! And gosh, I’m catching my breath trying to save my life !

well, that’s all. I think, I can start one out of 100 now. 5hours left until tomorrow. πŸ˜€

I’m doomed!

Second Quarter πŸ“šπŸ€“

My view on today’s Second Quarter Examination at Grade 7 – Santan πŸ–Š

πŸ’πŸ»Proctoring the future hopes of this land

After the sem-break, the teachers and learners are back to school with a good task of assessing the teaching-learning through an Examination. Students were busy studying and preparing for the said exam and so with the teachers.

As a teacher, I am hopeful and even dreaming big for these kids to do better in their studies. It is our duty to achieve each learning competencies and give them the quality education. So, during this time, we are also as prayerful as the parents and as heartening as them to see good results. Well, some of the students don’t mind being the last; having low grades; getting zeros or even worst, learning nothing!

I can say, this new environment, place and set of work I am into is challenging me to push myself so much and do everything I can. It’s exceeding my limitations. I guess, I must have looked down myself and thought I couldn’t do much, but I did… more than I could even think of.

The day went well with the students taking four subjects and will have another set of four this coming Monday.

I started the day with:

  • a prayer and greetings to the kids
  • then announcing the order of the subjects
  • checking attendance
  • arranging their seats into (NO CHEATING) arrangement
  • Β reminding them their monthly dues and tuition fees, ledgers and projects
  • And, lecturing them about the importance of HONESTY!

The first subject today is ENGLISH , my field of expertise. (talking like a pro)Β Then, Science, followed by TLE and lastly, MAPEH.. We dismissed the students earlier because they finished their exams early.

I never knew proctoring examinations could be so hard especially when we’re watching over cheaters not to cheat. I feel like guarding like a sentinel πŸ™‚

My day went well with big hopes and piled up test papers to be checked-on. Yeah!

Teacher Diary :)

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Yes, it is our job and duty to teach. To mold the youngsters to become a better person, a better citizen that will be useful. To help them attain skills and knowledge about the world. The responsibility is tough. We got all the blame for the zero scores even if we have done everything best. That’s how it is. But better yet, this tough job, TEACHING ~ is making me completely loving life, loving its mysteries, it challenges. It inspires me to be part of each child’s success. And being a teacher makes me happiest person on earth.
Happy World Teacher’s Day πŸ™‚ I love my Job!

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Yes. It will always be a YES. To the challenges that’s coming upon us, in our way of bringing education to each sides and corners of our country. Yes to the difficult task of changing the world to the better. Yes , we would take our step in molding and rearing the young, develop their potentials to be a good citizen of this republic. And YES, WE ARE ALL PROUD TO BE CALLED TEACHERS! Particularly, MOUNTAIN TEACHERS! πŸ™‚

#ProudTeacher #TeacherDiaries (at Laperian National High School)